Story 7: Anonymous, West Yorkshire

by | Feb 27, 2024 | Pupil / Student Story

I was diagnosed dyslexic at 21 years old, autistic at 49 and awaiting an ADHD diagnosis so I wasn’t officially diagnosed at school.

However my parents were called in when I was 7 as my ‘reading’ wasn’t up to scratch especially compared to my maths. My parents were told to sort it out at home so I was banned from watching more than an hours TV in the evening until my reading wasn’t sorted out.

No-one ever mentioned dyslexia or autism or getting me any support for my selective mutism.

Story 6: Parent, UK

by | Feb 27, 2024 | Parent Story

My youngest couldn’t attend college as she wanted, as they wouldn’t support her as an autistic person if she just didn’t GCSE Maths and English.

Story 5: Tracey, Somerset

by | Feb 26, 2024 | Pupil / Student Story

Nothing at school really resonated with me. I did reasonably okay but that was as much to do with luck as it was prep for exams (as that’s what it’s all about really – being able to remember and regurgitate information in a pressured 2 or 3 hours)…

The thing that I reflect back on is that I was never given all the options – I was going to do A levels and then go to University. There was never a discussion about what I enjoyed, or where my strengths were – that is just what everyone expected me to do.

And so I started my first years of sixth form – and then dropped out! I then went back and started the year again, and dropped out again! Two years wasted because I didn’t know what I wanted to do and was being forced to choose something that I had no real interest in. Why wasn’t I told about the vocational paths I could have looked at? Business, garden design, farming, hairdressing, plumbing, etc, etc?? Or even, to travel!

I lurched from one role to another – again, doing reasonably well, but never really excited by my work.

At 53, I am beginning to understand and accept what my strengths and weaknesses are, learning more and more about myself and what I might have enjoyed doing. It’s too late for me, but I have at least been able to support my son (also being encouraged to go to Uni by his school) to find out what makes him tick and what he would enjoy doing before making any decisions.

He is going to travel and work that out – what a pity he wasn’t encouraged to discover himself a bit more in school.

Story 1: Mum, Somerset

by | Feb 6, 2024 | Parent Story

Our school journey started in 2016 and ended in 2022.

From the beginning we were regularly ‘called in’ to see the teacher due to our son being unable to sit still, we also repeatedly reminded them that he started school when he had only just turned four.

The first two years were similar, being ‘called in’ and being told our son was immature and needed to know he was in school to learn and not socialise!  Year 3 teacher was SEN and we had some enlightening talks about ADHD, Dyspraxia and Sensory processing and this sparked an assessment for a referral to a specialist for diagnosis.  There were many delays in this process and then covid school closures put the brakes on.

Year 4 and 5 were pretty good as the teachers listened to my concerns and provided just enough help and support to get my son through each day.  Unfortunately all support was pulled in year 6 which caused my son to spiral and even masking in school was not working for him anymore.  I engaged an external SEN as begging the school to keep supporting my son did not work.

Eventually my son was so unhappy we felt there was no other choice but to de-register.  The relief for us all was incredible, immediate stress reduction.  My son really enjoyed the social side of school even though he was bullied through all the years, the school did not deal with the long term bullying, which has led to my son thinking there is something wrong with him.  However they tried to teach him resilience!  We were told he would never cope with real life if he didnt toughen up!

Upon leaving I requested all the info the school had on us and one document started that I was ‘an overprotective Mum’.  Surely it is my role to support and protect and advocate.  We as a family feel very let down by the current school system, we firmly believe, with the right support, this could have been an amazing environment for our son.

Unfortunately, a year later, my son is still very low on self confidence and self esteem and often refers back to incidents from school.  We just wish we had removed him sooner before events were so traumatic they have changed our son.  But we are working on this, he is now learning in a safe environment and he is so much happier.

Story 2: Jenn, CEO of Rama Life, Somerset

by | Feb 4, 2024 | Pupil / Student Story

This is my school story. 
I had friends, but I always felt different to them.
My teachers told me I talked to much, that I needed to try harder and that I was not living up to my potential (whatever that means).

When I was 12, I was taken out of my class and away from friends and put in a disruptive class  as a “good influence” becuase I got on with people. It made me feel even more different. 

I liked writing stories in English, but found it hard because of my spelling and handwritting. 
My ‘Best Work’ was often mistaken for a draft.  

I discovered a love of Drama and it became my strongest subject – I was in multiple plays and encouraged to continue to A-Level. But I told myself that I would never get a job as an actress so what was the point. I should do something sensible. Looking back this is crazy – Drama was my first love (and writing was my second).

I wrote an article in my school magazine about Stereotypes and Conformity and how toxic it was – it was aimed at the Principle and the way the school run. He gave me a commendation for it – I was not impressed.

I started a ‘business’ when I was 14, putting on gigs in my local area. It was successful – each time (four in total) I made a small profit and paid the bands. No one suggested I study business or that this could be something I was good at.

If the teacher was good I would excel in the class – Year 10 Chemistry finished with encouragement that I should take an A-Level.    My teacher changed in Year 11 and I didn’t even pass the GCSE.

My brain was busy.

The void between who I was and my “potential” became a cavern.  

I developed school anxiety and started missing days,  when I went it, I didn’t go in until after assembly (because I thought assembly was pointless and didn’t like sitting on the floor with lots of people).  

Four months before my GCSE’s my English teacher told me I was dyslexic – not that I hadn’t been trying hard enough, as I had been told my whole life.  Or not good enough as I had told myself. 

At the same time my best mate who was older than me taught me maths in a weekend.  Something years of school teachers had failed to do. I went from struggling in the middle set to studying maths at A Level.

I found my place at college – after starting A-Levels, I left and worked for six months, then returned to do a BTEC in Business.  I fell into it for a random reason and it ended up being the best thing ever.  For the first time in my education I felt like I fitted in and that I had skills and talent.

It worked because it was a “doing” course and assignments related to actual situations. I could incorporate my storytelling and drama skills – writing financial reports were easy if I pretended I was running an actual business.

It took until I was 41 to realise I had an ADHD brain and to get diagnosed. 
During the time inbetween, I had a lot of different jobs and some unfinished degrees behind me.  

My father was abusive, I was a young carer and we lived on a very low income. These things were not recognised – because I was chatty and eloquent. When I started missing school, no one checked in on me and if they did, they never made a connection with me, because I remember feeling like as I had “stopped playing the game” they were not interested anymore.

What school taught me: I was broken, I was different, I wasn’t good enough, I was inconsistent, I didn’t try hard enough, I was not realising my potential, that people were unkind, that if the world was like school I would always feel lost.  That I was unwanted.

What it didn’t teach me: That I had a gift for entrepreneurism, that I was a natural leader, that my writing and my empathy could change lives for the better and that I had a voice that people would listen to.  That I had the ability to turn my hand to anything that caught my interest.

What would have helped: Being respected and allowed to be an individual – not being able to express myself with clothing etc made me want to rebel.  I have always had a strong sense of respect and equalitiy. Dyslexia and ADHD diagnosis earlier.  It was the 90’s so I will give them that… but I see this happeneing to young people still.  I still remember doing a project at primary school about planning to run a tea-shop – that was my favourite thing ever and had that been used to teach me other subjects, I would have excelled. We need new subjects or subjects delivered in a new way for brains with different interests and learning styles.  Definately got on better at college with smaller classes, first name basis with adults and relevent subjects (did a business BTEC).